SATIRE

The Best Part Of Halloween

Express yourself

Alexander Razin
3 min readOct 31, 2021

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Image by kalhh from Pixabay

Halloween has come upon us once again. It’s come to my attention that people have dedicated the entire month of October to Halloween. You can see it when young adult women walkout out of Starbucks with their pumpkin spice latte with little pumpkin and bat sprinkles on top.

Yet, Halloween is special for weirdos like me. For one time of the year, I can act like myself without zero consequences. It’s perfect time to use my weirdo powers to blunder the goodies from an unbeknown child.

It’s the thrill I get every Halloween.

I head to the garage and open the gray crate that has all the Halloween masks from the year prior. There’s the grim reaper mask, from the time I lost my Scream mask, so I had to improvise. There’s the Scream mask when I remember I left it in the car.

I keep on digging for the mask, and can’t seem to find it. I tell myself; need to keep searching for it if I want to scare those kids. So, I keep digging deeper into the crate, and lo-and-behold I find the mask. It’s a creepy red and black jester mask I bought at Walmart; during another time, I had to improvise.

I grab the mask with a sinister grin and put in on. I walk out of the garage inchmeal to the street, where I stood as a statue waiting for my first victim. The next neighbor Bill comes out of his house to throw away trash and sees me with a perplexed look. First, they want communism and know they're standing in front of their house. Damn freaks! Bill is perhaps thinking.

I continue standing there in the dark until spectators come to collect candy. I notice a couple of kids dressed in superhero customers come by the house. The kids are walking and eating candy with joy, but they see me standing there, and their faces grow bitter.

The kids glance for a while to make sure it wasn’t a real person, but they couldn’t make it out. Yet, the children approached me, and hoped for the best. Nothing was going to stop them from getting candy.

The boys get closer and closer, and I then flinch my arm with slight shifts. The instant I moved, the kids ran away, abandoning remnants of candy.

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Alexander Razin

Aficionado and connoisseur of obscure and experimental music, movies, and TV. Fictional and nonfictional pieces have their place here, too