Remembering the Time as a Loaf of Bread on TV

I looked quite tasty

Alexander Razin
3 min readFeb 6, 2022


Image by The Donut Man TV show.

I find it difficult to believe, but a TV company hired me to appear on a Christian television show. My journey began as a pompous mustache man came out of a pulsating portal. He caught me while I scarf down a sandwich. I gobbled the sandwich down like a squawking turkey and gave him my attention.

“After all these years, I found you,” the mustache man said.

“Ah, okay, who are you?” I said, wiping the food from my mouth.

“I came searching for you because I want you to star in a TV show.”

“Okay, but why me?”

“You have unlocked potential, sweetheart. One of our agents from the future tried to persuade you as a child, but you disagreed like the fat boy you were.”

“Wait? Back up. Someone in the future came to collect me? And why go with you when you’re mocking me?”

“It’s part of the game, sweetheart. We scouted for talent in the early 2000s to appear in a 1996 show. It’s the reason she went to the future.”

His ignorant comments urged me to smack the mustache off his face. His mustache was so big it was as if he had a living animal on his upper lip. Removing it might…



Alexander Razin

Aficionado and connoisseur of obscure and experimental music, movies, and TV. Fictional and nonfictional pieces have their place here, too